(Santa's workshop is behind schedule, and they've called in a new temporary seasonal elf, Tinkle -- the "best elf available" at the last minute from St. Nick of Time Temp Agency. Having failed at almost everything he's ever tried, Tinkle is ecstatic to finally get the chance to do what he's always dreamed of. But it doesn't go well.)

    TINKLE
    (To himself, in broadening wonder)
Wow! The best elf. Me. Imagine that! I'm the best elf available. It's just like I always dreamed!

    (TINKLE, taking BELLE's instructions
    too literally, begins to sing with
    delusional over-self-confidence.

    During the number, TINKLE plays directly
    to the audience while moving through the
    workshop oblivious to his surroundings.
    Starting slowly, on the underlined words,
    and then with greater frequency as the song
    progresses, he either knocks something over,
    bumps into someone, or just creates general
    chaos.

    BELLE and other ELVES chase after him, trying
    to right the wrongs as they happen, but by the
    end of the number, the workshop is in a shambles,
    yet TINKLE remains oblivious to what he has done)

    TINKLE
    (Singing)
I'M LIVING THE DREAM
I'M FINALLY HERE
I'M JOINING THE TEAM
AND THIS IS MY BIG PREMIERE
I'M TOP OF THE TOPS
WITH A CRITICAL ROLE
I'M CREAM OF THE CROPS
I'VE ACHIEVED MY GREATEST GOAL

DREAMS CAN COME TRUE AND I KNEW MY DEBUT
WITH THIS CREW WOULD BE DUE ANY YEAR

NO ONE WOULD GUESS THAT I'M LESS THAN THE BEST,
AND I'M BLESSED THEY REQUESTED ME HERE

I'M LIVING THE LIFE
OF THE PRIVILEGED FEW
I'M SHARP AS A KNIFE
AND I KNOW ONE THING IS TRUE
I'LL GIVE IT MY ALL
I'LL BRING MY BEST GAME
THEY'LL THINK I'M A DOLL
AND THEY WON'T FORGET MY NAME

    BELLE and ELVES
    (Speaking, exasperation)
Tinkle!

    TINKLE
    (Singing)
NOW I AM ONE OF A WONDERFUL BUNCH,
AND THE FUN HAS BEGUN, I'M A STAR

WHAT SHOULD I FEAR SINCE IT'S CLEAR THAT I'M HERE?
IT APPEARS THAT I'M DEAR TO THEIR HEARTS

    (TINKLE does some sort of destructive --
    but not clumsy or ungraceful -- dance moves,
    with BELLE and other ELVES trying to prevent
    trouble and/or make things right after the fact)

IF I BECAME SOMEONE FAMOUS MY NAME
THEY'D PROCLAIM IN THE SAME BREATH AS LINCOLN

STATUES AND MONUMENTS ON MY FRONT LAWN,
WHEN I'M GONE, LET THEM PONDER MY THINKING

ONLY THE BEST GET TO STAND WHERE I'M STANDING AND
ALL OF THE REST NEVER LAND WHERE I'M LANDING
IT'S ME!
AND I'M LIVING THE DREAM!
I'M LIVING THE DREAM!
I'M LIVING THE DREAM!

    BELLE
    (Speaking)
You're fired!